hi all.. since i last update my blog.. quite a number of things have happened..ummm..slowly write ba..

1st..friday was supposed to go for retreat at changi aloha..but then cos of my BTT, my buddy and mi skip the retreat and wen on to take our BTT at BBDC.. it was our second try le..failed the 1st attempt..kns..but bo bian 1 la..fail le then learn from our lesson lo..that is must be prepared then go for the TEST..dun jus walk in and take..80% will fail..haha..anyway finally passed BTT le..nw shld be saving money to take my PDL liao..dunno when then can get the money to do so..

anyway friday morning wen for our 18km run at EAST COAST.. wa lau..the last time i ran anything was back in APRIL when i was taking my 2nd yr IPPT lo..4 months nv run le then suddenly ask mi go run 18km..GG man..but then i sure twang 1 la..lols..twang and slack ard..in the end onli run 5km..and wan back to starting point which is another 5km..haha..power leh..haha..

ok..other then those 2 events..nth much le ba..gt oso lazy update..and dun think much ppl will read my blog oso ba..take care ppl..nitexx..sian..a veri boring life i'm leading..can some1 do the change in mi??

yoz ppl, back to update lo.. tml onwards i will start my outfield instructor life again.. i will be swapping with a of my buddies and will be taking charge of trainees again.. a bit sad cos cannot realli slack le.. must work le.. but still ok la.. work is jus work.. surely still can slack de..

anyway today was doin nth much in camp.. jus planning and helping doin the cse opening stuff with my 2 other frens.. prepare everything and getting everything ready.. so that we dun need to rush on next monday... some more thurs and fri are OFF day.. so cannot do anything.. so beta prepare earlier and get things done before we get scoldings..

haix.. was thinking quite alot.. i miss alot alot of things.. so many gd memories i have with mi.. so many ppl walked in and out of my life for the past 21 yrs.. so many.. but how many realli know mi??? how many realli treat mi as brother.. how many realli helped when i have trouble??

i miss.. i miss so so so many things.. i miss:
- the carefree life when i was in primary sch.
- the happy time when i was in sec sch.
- the endless fun i had while in upper sec.
- the hack care attitude i can have even after bashing some1 up in sec sch.
- the happiness my frens gave mi.
- the boldness of scolding my manager and walk out of workplace quitting the job.

so many... so many... whr is the old self mi?? whr has it gone to?? why do i feel so uneasy abt so many things nw??? why do i care how others feel nw?? why do i think for others before myself?? why i give others more than wat others give mi?? why am i such a failure in studies?? why didn't any1 ask mi if i am happy nw?? why didn't any1 ask mi if i wan a change in my life?? why didn't any1 care?? why do i have to start worrying abt how to survive on tis heartless world at such a young age??

how much i wish i can go back to the time when i onli have to worry wat i wan to play next.. no worries abt life.. no worries abt food.. no worries abt money.. no worries abt others feeling.. no worries abt anything except wat to play next.. everyday fun.. everyday rotting.. everyday doin nth.. its like when we are still a baby.. do u have to worry abt anything?? NO!!! ur parents will provide u with everything.. how many ppl out there are worse than mi?? alot more.. i noe.. but when must tis world be so heartless.. why ppl jus cannot help each other out when we get into trouble?? do u realli feel gd when u c some1 getting into trouble??

i miss everything in the past.. i miss them.. watever i do nw will not bring mi back to the past.. so i shld plan wat to do next and get myself a gd job.. i will not let others look down on mi anymore.. i will not let them have the chance.. i may not be the best person out there but i'm sure i will not be a failure anymore..

thinking back i oso nv realli take things seriously.. maybe its time to wake up my idea and get things done.. give my dad a gd life in the future.. i will not let him suffer again..

ppl out thr.. even if ur parents let u down.. u still have to do ur job to get them to live under a roof and get them a living.. cos no matter wat happened.. they still feed u till u grow up.. u think u will be sitting down here reaeding my blog if they never give u food since u are young?? u think u noe how to survive since u are born ar?? its ur parents who spent time taking care of u.. so watever they do.. we still owe them too much.. without them we will not be sitting here.. think abt wat i said ba..

every nite i hope u ppl out thr can jus lay down on ur bed.. spend abt 15 mins thinking thru wat u did right and wat u did wrong.. wat u could have done to make every1 else life beside u happier.. maybe tis way then u will improve.. nitexx ppl.. dun say wait wait wait.. or no time no time no time.. dun wait till everything is too late.. ppl are gone then u wan to say then u wan to do.. say and do the things u wan when they are still alive..

halo, jus dunno wat to do so write blog lo.. nth to update oso.. everyday life seems to be the same.. and everyday my life is onli ard working, serving the army, go home, talk to parents, eat dinner with them, talk to them, then they go slp le then i go play games.. use comp..

wat else can i do?? sometimes i realli wan to go out de.. not that i like to stay home.. but will it be too bo liao to go out walking aimlessly ard everywhr and heading towards no whr... mum recently jus told mi her plan for next few yrs.. wa.. its YRS!!! not months.. omg.. she told mi the planning all because she wan mi to have another motivation in my life.. she wan mi to do some planning for my own future.. at tis point of time i realli dun have much hope for my future..

haix.. alot of thinking need to be done.. i seriously need to think abt my future.. wat will i become?? how is my life goin to be in 2 yrs time?? still rotting ard doin nth successful?? haix.. dunno.. hope everything can jus be alright..

nth to say le.. take care ppl.. have fun..

hi ppl.. recently alot of things happened to ppl who i came in contact wif.. why must all tis happened?? i noe its fated.. i noe it will happened soon or lata but why am i so limited then i cannot help any1 of them.. i can't help any1.. i'm so limited..

anyway i oso dunno if the things i do is worth it anot but then i jus wan to help her out of tis problem..i have tried so many ways to.. e mailing her.. leaving her friendster sms.. comments.. tag board.. giving her my HP and msn add.. but then nw i stilll dun have any replies.. but as long as i think its rite then i'll continue to find ways to help her.. i jus wan her to noe that there's still alot of things that she will need to face in the future.. same issue.. same problem will surely hit her again..

wat she need is time.. wat she need is a word of console.. i'll try my best to help her out.. thrus, fri, sat & sun.. i'm on off.. i'll go to places that she wan to go.. i hope i can meet her somewhr there and talk to her.. i hope i can jus bump into her.. let c if i do..

SG is not veri big.. but then its oso not that small.. i hope that we will bump into each other while walking on street.. take care.. and dun stress out anymore.. talk to ppl.. u will feel beta.. i'm sure.. u will.. kkzz..

nite all.. its late le.. i'm still thinking.. how to help her!! any ideas?? hope i dream of 1 tonight..

yoz, ppl out there... do u have a close fren who can give up everything and anything for u nw??? if u have 1... u are a blessed person...

last nite when i was realli veri down, when i wanted to go out for a walk, when i wanted to chat wif some1... i realised that i have no1... i have no1 to turn to... not even 1 person... hw sad life can be if 1 day u realised that u dun have any1 to chat wif when u encounter some problems... haix... that's my life...

8 yrs back... when i jus entered sec 1... i was a timid boy who dun dare to look striaght into others eye... i jus sat down quietly in a corner of the class... but soon i found myself 2 die-hard buddies... we eat tgt, played, kanna scoldings, skip classes, fight, watever that u can think of i believe we oso done it le... i thought tis relationship with my 2 buddies will remain as long as we lived... but i was wrong... things isn't as beautiful as i thought they will be... alot alot alot of things can change the veri next moment...

jus a simple decision i made on their behalf... they blamed mi for that... they blamed mi for nt asking their views b4 i made that decision... jus a simple simple issue... and they broke the fren-ship which i thought could have been a fairy tale fren-ship to mi... everything was fine and well until that incident happened... they jus gave up on a fren-ship that we used 7 yrs to built on... 7 yrs... its so funny... we have been thru so much and fought hard to maintain the fren-ship we built... and yet because of a simple issue they fren-ship is been broken up...

recently alot alot things happen ard mi... alot of ppl passed away... within 3 months... 1st was my china relative.... then was 2 of my in camp buddies' grandpa... then followed by my cousin... and not long ago on 22nd july CAT's wai-gong passed away... then i jus read from 1 blog another gal oso left tis world on 22nd july... the link is in my ytd's post... u guys can go take a look... she met an accident on her way home... jus shortly in 3 months... 5 person i know passed away... although there are alot more out there who i dunno... but it have prove to us that life is veri veri short and unpredicatable.. i hoep every1 treat each other like its the veri last time u are goin to c tis person... then u will not have regrets even if he/she is gone... do wat u wan to do... do wat is right... dun care abt wat others say as long as its not a crime...

i hope all of u out there have some1 there for u when u need... treat the person well and forgive and forget watever ur buddy does as long as u can... its never easy to have a close buddy and u will never feel gd to let ur closest buddy walk out of ur life... hope every1 out there will treasure the ppl ard them and remember to treat every1 the best u can...

LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR US TO WASTE AND THINK BEFORE U ACT!!! DUN REGRET!!!

i dunno why am i sad and wat make mi so sad but once i saw the many posts her fren wrote on the accident, i feel for her fren and i feel that it was a waste that she's gone jus like that.. leaving behind loads & loads of ppl who cared for her... so many of them... once u reaed the blog then maybe u will noe how i feel le... i have recently lost a relative oso... but that relative isn't as close to mi so i dun feel so much... i cannot think wat is something happen to my immediate family... i bet i will break down... i have nth much to hope for and look forward to on tis world except for my family members...

the dead gal's blog link: http://kissonmylips.blogspot.com/

her best fren's blog link : http://caiweii.blogspot.com/

i hope all of u out there will read this 2 blogs and seriously we shld think of how we can treat ppl who are ard us beta... we shld not waste time on useless things and shld thinkk more abt helping the others... i hope every1 will do wat they think is correct and treat our family members the best... no matter how much u they have made u angry, no matter how much they have made u sad, no matter how busy u are... remember always to spend time with ur family cos they have alrdy given up alot alot for u in the past... if u dunno wat i'm talking abt nw dun worry... in the future u will understand... but now remember to spend time wif them... give both parties some happy memories to keep in our heart... even after they are gone, at least we still have something to remember, something to think of, something which will make we remember them..kk..

take care.. ppl do think of ur own actions... dun regret like i do...

SHOULDNT IT BE THIS WAY?BF's SHOULD DO.
☆~ When she stares at your mouth = "Kiss her"
☆~ When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you = "LET HER BEAT AND ACT PAINFUL"
☆~ When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff = "Kiss her and tell her you love her"
☆~ When she's quiet = "Ask her what's wrong"
☆~ When she ignores you = "Give her your attention"
☆~ When you see her at her worst = "Tell her she's beautiful"
☆~ When you see her start crying = "Just hold her and don't say a word"
☆~ When she steals your favorite pillow = "Let her keep it and slp with it for a night"
☆~ When she doesn't answer for a long time = "Reassure her that everything is okay"
☆~ When she looks at you with doubt = "Back yourself up"
☆~ When she says that she likes you = "SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN U COULD UNDERSTAND!"
☆~ When she looks at you in your eyes = "Don't look away until she does"
☆~ When she says it's over = "She still wants you to be hers"
☆~ When she reposts this = "She wants you to read it"
☆~ Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
☆~ Call her at 12:00am on her birthday/anniversary dates to tell her you love her
☆~ Treat her like she's all that matters to you
☆~ Stay up all night with her when she's sick
☆~ Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid