haix.. sad news so mi but maybe it doesn't even affect any1 living on tis earth... after 10 days of consideration and thinking the situation at every angle that i can think of... maybe staying single is still the best way to solve it...
not that i dun wan to commit myself in...
not that i dun like her anymore...
not that i dun hav the courage to go into another relationship...
the most important reason is that i can see that SHE DON'T LIKE MI AT ALL.
since the start it was a one sided thingy and nth was said, nth was promised... we didn't even have each other's hp no.. wat else can i wish for??? nth la... cos i noe the most that we did was to send a friendster message to each other...
regarding the TAGS on ur blog... it was the onli way i can think of to chat wif her... it was the onli way i can to know wat happened to her... it was the onli way i can to know how is she doin today... without her blog its like we can never chat wif each other, never have a chance to know more abt each other... there's no other ways to how i can chat wif her...
after thinking for teh past 10 days... considering all the pros and cons that i can think of... weighting wat is important and wat is urgently on hand that i must settle... all the problems and situation that we may meet in the future if we get tgt... all the things ba... but watever the outcome of my thinking was... i onli made tis decision because i noe
SHE DOES NOT LIKE MI... maybe u can say that we onli seen each other for 10 days and its noemal for her not to feel anything but then i still think i shall not drag another ppl into wat maybe become another failure... i know that i have always been as a failure in life...
until nw i still cannot think of anything that i can work as in future... with my 'O' level cert i think i can do nothing... nth much ba... maybe something that no1 wants to work de then i can get the job lo... starting a relationship will surely increase my expenses... let's not say paying for ur partner... jus take bus go out then send her home then go home... all this are extra cost... ppl who dunno my situation may think that i am veri "CAT"... but its the environment ard mi that train mi up to be like this... since i was born, i never bought a shirt or pants for myself... all the clothings i have is taken from some rich ppl who dun wan them anymore... i have never used any facial products never buy any products to repair my damaged hair... i am a person who was train not to spend a single cent except on food... sometimes i will even walk home from jurong east central which is like 1/2 HRS walk... but jus to save the 65cents...
watever ppl say mi i dun care... cos i noe that 1 day every1 will grow old... 1 day every1 will look ugly... 1 day every1 will die... as long as my family members are happy then i'm fine...
fulfilling some1 else's wish can sometimes be happier than fulfillin ur own wish cos u noe u made some1 happy today... maybe i think too much and say too much... but i jus wan to say that i dun have the energy and ability to fall in love with another person again... its reallli realli reallli tiring... i have gt too many things to carry on my shoulder... its more than wat i can handle...
some may ask mi then why still find a GF?? to mi lookin for a GF is like a mental support piler... cos when u have some1 who u love to talk to and when she's willing to talk to u... share ur problems... feel for u... she will always be a mental support to mi... cos i noe that no matter wat happens i still have some1 that i can find to talk... some1 who will lend mi a shoulder to lend on when i need... some1 to share my happiness/saddness with mi no matter wat happens... but how many ppl out thr can realli, confidently say that their partner will not leave them someday sometimes in the future??? how sure r u?? 100%?? 80%?? 50%?? 30%?? or onli 1%??
no1 can predict wat's goin to happen the veri next moment... we all dunno how we wil become in future... who knows maybe singapore suffer from a terrible EARTHQUAKE.. all high rise falls and half of singpaore population are gone... dun say it won't happen here... nth on this world is fix... like i always says CHANGE IS THE ONLI THING THAT IS CHANGE... CHANGE IS THE ONLI THING THAT WILL NOT CHANGE IN TIS EVER CHANGING WORLD...
sometimes even when u put in all ur effort, it may not yield any result... dun carry so much hopes on human... they are the most unpredictable animal on planet... jus do watever u think is correct and dun regret... today i made a decision that i may regret in the future... but if i ever get a chance to tell her i may reconsider if i tell her... that's if i ever get a chance la... for nw... let's jus hope that we can be frens and maybe things will then change from thr...
nite ppl... i'm drain out... need to rest le... recently getting tired veri easily and always not enuff rest ba... i go orh orh le... take care ppl... oh if carmen gt read tis blog then i hope u will keep the sercet between u and mi and miss ye... dun let the news out... thx...
hihi.. i said i will update my blog today for ppl to c and i kept my promise nw... typing things that happened to mi from morning 7am - nw(10pm)... although nth much happened... but still can write quite a bit de...
morning woke up and shag like hell cos last nite slept at 3am... so onli like slp for 4 hrs... last time i slept for 4 hrs onli was like half a month ago... nw i become gd boy le... always gt time then slp like pig... minimumly oso slp 6 hrs per day... ya... so feeling quite tired... but still gt to wake up... cos goin market wif my aunt as she still cannot carry heavy stuff after her operation... i'm oso not goin to let her risk goin alone lata gt BLIND ppl bang into her then i tink her wound is goin to take another 3 months to heal again... till nw her wound still haven heal lo... super long... so must take extra care not to get it worse... dun waste the effort for the past few months...
anyway wen market at 7 plus... take bus to WEST COAST market... wear till dam casual... that's mi... then shop for food for ard 1 hr... wa... though nv buy alot but still i 1 person carry all the food quite heavy de lo... took bus 51 home... guess wat is the 1st thing i do when i reach home... surely u guess some logical ans.... haha.... the ans is ( i took off my shoes) ... LOLS!!! if i future BAOBEI reading then u beta laugh... cos tis joke is for u de...
then on my comp check out my earning for last nite... then wen to eat breakfast with aunt in kitchen... talked abt my future, buying hse, gettting married and alot more... dunno la... i haven met some1 who i think i can marry with and spend the rest of my life with her... hope FUTURE BAOBEI will be the 1 i'm looking for... i dunno... maybe we won't even start or get anywhr... she may not even know i like her... lols... wait till later a bit then we talk abt tis...
after talking to aunt... wen to watch drama on crunchyroll... till noon then ate noodles... aunt cook hokkien prawn noodle.. nice nice... ate like pig... then wen back to my comp... watch drama till 6pm then start to earn some money again... then nth much le lo...
its quite another boring day for mi... but still ok la... i used to tis type of life style le... everyday at home oso nt bad... can save more money and reach my MILLION target earlier... haha... ok ok... hope my FUTURE BAOBEI can cheer up... she said she's quite down lately... dun down le.. must UP a bit k.. lols.. hope she can cheer up for teh next few days... cos she goin off and dun nd work... so more rest more... yaya... take care... have fun oso...
yoz, ppl... haven started doin anything to try to inprove the situation i am in... lols... dunno whr to start off with... how to open my mouth and get her HP no... i PAISEH la.. some more ppl who i can get from are ppl who will bomb my with 10000000000000000000 questions when i c them... lols...
i i ask from frens surely they wil keep on pestering mi asking mi y i wan her HP no... if i dun get from frens then i can onli ask from her personally... which i tink is a beta choice cos it seems more sincere... ya... but still i will surely get myself a chance to tell her de... cos i dun wan to regret for the rest of my life and miss another chance jus like tt...
lata after i miss tis chance then i regret like hell again... but if i tell her and if she accept its goin to be difficult for mi to maintain it ba... need alot of effort ba... and oso alot of time... i dun mind giving up on comp games to allow myself to have more free time but then sometimes life isn't as easy and simple as we think we wan... life always control alot of our doings and limit us to alot of things...
once i dun believe tis sentence but nw i does a bit... some1 told mi tis 1 day when i'm thinking abt my problems...
"WATEVER PROBLEMS THAT CAN USE MONEY TO SOLVE IS NOT A PROBLEMS AT ALL"
do u believe in tis... tis is actually quite true and we have to beileve it... who dare to say he/she has not dream of retiring at our age... dun need go work everyday... sit at home shake leg... do things that u like... go on holiday and to countries that u like... go walk walk without thinking of how to earn more money... buy things that u like...
alot of things can be solve once u have money but there are also things that u will not get it even when u are rich... that's TRUE love... i always believe if ur frens onli come o u when u r rich then u can rather kick out of this earth and get rid of them as far as possible... cos they are onli after ur money... no true feelings for u de... when u are poor and nth to give to others but yet they came to help u... came over to lend u a helping hand then that's call true fren... true feelings... i oso believe that when a couple truely love each others, there's nth in tis world that can separate the 2 of them... even if u put them on either side of the poles they will still love each others and miss each others as days goes by... nth can change them...
i have always envy ppl who have such stable relationship and i noe tt it didn't come jus like tt... the couple must have put in alot alot alot effort in maintaining their relationship and make it possible to sustain it for so long and yet so stable... i oso hope and wish that one day i can be like them... having a stable relationship of my own and enjoying life wif my the other half... hope that day will come and my dream can filful soon...
end here le ba... if not lata think too much then cannot slp again... lols... take care ppl... hope the gal noe that i am refering to her... hope everyday she works safely and peacefully... miss her...
yoz..for some ppl info... i veri veri seldom blog de.. cos in NS.. everyday's life is abt the same.. and to make things worse... i dun even step out of my hse over the wkend and tt's y i gt nth much to write abt.. ya..
but sometimes will still update and let u ppl noe how have my life been.. yuppies..
since my last ex,miss winnie the pooh,i have always been running away from relationship.. cos i dun wan to spend another few months getting to know another gal.. then waste time and money on uncertain things again... things in tis world is changing every single minutes , every SECONDS... and wat makes u so sure tt the ppl beside u will not change and betray u the very next moment... i guess that's wat we call TRUST...
i heard some 1 saying tis sentence b4... goin into a relationship is giving some1 a knife to backstab u... maybe to some tis sentence may be veri true... but to others it maybe nt real at all... but at least to mi... i think that it not real althought i had a few unhappy realionship... but i still think tt there will surely be some1 out thr tt's waiting for mi to discover...
recently i gt a feeling for a gal whom i dunno her de... but on a outing wif my frens then i gt to noe her... i have been asking myself for te past few days... wat is the purpose of goin into a relationship?? to some ppl they have nv think abt tis question... but i dun wan to drag another person wif mi to die... with the things that i need to pay and handle every month nw is alrdy more than nw i can handle... so many things awaits for mi to pay,to do...
maybe nw is still not the time i shld rush for anything... let nature takes its course... if the gal manage to find out who she is then i may ask her out someday...
take care ppl... have fun everyday and enjoy yourself..